Platoon IC Nov 19-23 2005
Platoon Best 30 Nov-6 Dec 2005
I still remember the day I enlisted. My hands trembled as I tried to swear into National Service. Confused, I was constantly telling myself it’s just another phrase of life, nothing to be afraid of. If the rest of the Singaporeans went through it without a hitch, if my brothers went through it without a hitch, everything would be fine.
Everything turned out to be fine.
I still remember from the 1st confinement, we booked out. Our spirits soared as we return to see our loved ones, our friends. The 1st sms, the 1st phonecall home, they all helped to ease our minds, fueling it so we can work harder, and harder. Know we chiong for our family, our friends, the steps leading home, that irritating boy you shared the bus with, the uncle that sells you your 1st coke when you book out, the tv in your room, your PS2, your computer, the torrent files you’ve been downloading for the longest time, the mp3s, the games. “Protecting the Nation” are big words, sometimes these words may seem way too idealistic, too unrealistic, but know that it is not all talk. It’s the small and minute details of the life here that I am willing to fight and give up my life for, not all the big talk of protecting and defending our nation.
For Singapore, I will gladly fight till I die, because it is my home. Where ever I travel to, I know there is a safe haven here, where my family and friends are.
Don’t say we’ll never go to war; get to know Murphy and his law.
“Everything that can go wrong WILL go wrong”.
I seriously hate this saying but I live by it because I kena shit and flak way too many time for me not to abide by it.
I still remember the commencement of our training. Our 1st CPT 1, fortunately ended with a CAT 1 (how lucky is that), our 1st 10 push up that I struggled with. I was honestly taken aback, “what the fuck, that’s just the warm-up? Die liao lar…” Then there was the 1st ST, the 1st AGR, 30-60, BCCT, 60-120, ST with SBO, SOC training (if you are in PTP all the more), my 1st gun shot, my 1st grenade throw, the 1st out field. BMT will be the best of times out of the 2 years of what many consider the worst of times.
I enjoy every single activity (no im not really that siao on, just slightly more matured) because I treat NS as a long vacation from my hectic life in the media industry. Learn and grow all you can, its free one.
I still remember all the times I smiled because I excelled, all the times I frowned because I was disappointed. My 1st shot missed, my actual grenade that hit the target, the return to camp after the grueling 7 day field camp, the night they announced my GOLD result of IPPT, the night they announced that I was platoon 4’s best recruit, the time PS Tan Jia Wen pulled me aside with PC Sir, 2lt Kelvin Liao to tell me that I cannot go OCS because of my weight (WTF), and that I might not be the platoon best because I cannot go to OCS.
For the longest time, I have not cried, I almost forgot how to. But on that day real tears came out, trust me it’s not so different crying with contact lenses, it still hurts like fuck in the heart. That night I cried before going to sleep under my blanket, fucking confused, sir’s words still ringing in my ears.
“Chi Heng, listen to me, you did well liao, do not give up no matter where you go, continue to do your best” It was at that time I cracked and started crying.
I cried not because I cannot be platoon best, but because ultimately I still lost to my body. I only told 2 people about how I am able to excel, Sir and Bronson Chong while we shared a cab home. I chiong hard because as a kid, I was damm sickly and weak. But as I grew up I realized that “hey im not that weak after all” and that was when I started to chiong and see how far I can go, pushing the limits to see just how good I can get. Life is short as it is, don’t make it boring.
Find your own motivation; find your own goal in life.
Adieu,
Blood Sweat and Tears
Puan Chi Heng
