Resolve
Been thinking alot
as usual...
There are always secrets to a person and i cant help but feel like an episode of infernal affairs.
theres the things i know, and the things i want people to know.
mind games you might call them, keep it bottled up long enough... you'll get affected
certain things you can say, others must remain in your head
some people you need to affect, some... merely extras in the show
then of course you take a breather now and then
you take a step back and analyze
am i good? or am i bad?
is this good really good? or is it derived from bad?
or am i just bad? and the term "good" merely a sympathetic facade
which at the same time drives you nuts for you just to keep up to
from wanting to be good, i believed my heart has become so different so contradictive so unrealistically disciplined, drilled to the point of extremes
because if not, the entire "me" will collapse and cease
times of change people. it is upon me.
ironic that it is so similar to one of my favorite movies
or issit just a kind of console treatment that i apply myself to? sympathy?
would it be any different if i had not watched the show, because right now...
i feel that i am stuck in eternal hell, with all life's irony ripping me apart from spine down
because i have become so fake.
and i hate that. so fucking much man you cant even begin to comprehend
fuck all that "best of" bullshit. Im just a morale boosting tool, in case you havent realize
a tool, hah
it is a slap in my face everytime i get the award. but hey at the same time it is a kick to their nuts, because a person like me can grab it time after time.
ladies and gents
i deviate
the fakeness extend to a much wider spectrum.
Now my resolve is formed.
Things are going to change.
as usual...
There are always secrets to a person and i cant help but feel like an episode of infernal affairs.
theres the things i know, and the things i want people to know.
mind games you might call them, keep it bottled up long enough... you'll get affected
certain things you can say, others must remain in your head
some people you need to affect, some... merely extras in the show
then of course you take a breather now and then
you take a step back and analyze
am i good? or am i bad?
is this good really good? or is it derived from bad?
or am i just bad? and the term "good" merely a sympathetic facade
which at the same time drives you nuts for you just to keep up to
from wanting to be good, i believed my heart has become so different so contradictive so unrealistically disciplined, drilled to the point of extremes
because if not, the entire "me" will collapse and cease
times of change people. it is upon me.
ironic that it is so similar to one of my favorite movies
or issit just a kind of console treatment that i apply myself to? sympathy?
would it be any different if i had not watched the show, because right now...
i feel that i am stuck in eternal hell, with all life's irony ripping me apart from spine down
because i have become so fake.
and i hate that. so fucking much man you cant even begin to comprehend
fuck all that "best of" bullshit. Im just a morale boosting tool, in case you havent realize
a tool, hah
it is a slap in my face everytime i get the award. but hey at the same time it is a kick to their nuts, because a person like me can grab it time after time.
ladies and gents
i deviate
the fakeness extend to a much wider spectrum.
Now my resolve is formed.
Things are going to change.
